I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
