it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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