Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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