I hope mine doesn't look like that
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
