FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
