belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
