The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I smell like Dick and happiness
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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