Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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