I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
