He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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