Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
