we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Randomize