yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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