Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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