I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
