she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Im part way to drunk.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
