You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
