I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
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