They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
should my penis look like a turkey
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
