Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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