found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
