Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
