i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Randomize
