i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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