This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Randomize
