Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
