are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
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he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
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there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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