does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
