8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i will never coherently bang her
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
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