No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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