tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
