on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
