Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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