Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
