accomplished twins. life is a go
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
