Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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