Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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