And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize