i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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