So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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