all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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