I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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