I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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