Whod you bang
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
