final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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