how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
