Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
