You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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