Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
