so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
