can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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