So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
