Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
