9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
