once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
