just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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