My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
