...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
